A New Day Has Come

So it is now my 18th year on this planet. As such, I would really like to reflect upon everything, and maybe realize a few things.

First off, no matter what, my friends have always been there for me. My friends have changed throughout the years, but that doesn't even matter. The friends I have now are the best friends I've ever had. We've had our rifts (that's for sure) throughout high school, but we always stuck through it together, and I hope that never changes. Family has been another important factor in my life. As much as we argue at times, they really are my rocks at points. Throughout junior high to high school, I tried as hard as I could to shut myself up from them. But when push came to shove last year, they were there for me. Especially my aunt. I owe much of my guidance to her. She really is a second mom.

I've learned a lot about myself. Especially in high school. Actually, I realize I did the most growing in high school; those are the times that really stand out. Three of my friends were my rocks when I hit depression in grade ten. Melissa, Mena and Sabina. You may not have realized it then, but I thank you so much.
In grade eleven, I met one of the most amazing friends, Alysha. Musical theatre that year opened my eyes so much to the world I loved being a part of. I met her, and I got to be in two musical theatre plays (Wicked and Across The Universe). It was exhilarating being on stage, having a duet with Nabila in our class production. It was scary, considering everything I had gone through in elementary. But I knew those girls' comments should torment me no longer. And as soon as I started singing, the world fell away. It was just me, and the music. Since then, I'm no longer tormented by my bullies. I'm a lot stronger than I was in elementary/junior high.
Grade twelve changed everything, though. Friends changed, our group no longer was a group. I had my first real heartbreak. I suffered depression again, for four months. Musical theatre took a hold of my life like no other. I directed Mamma Mia, with a group. And I had my first solo on stage, since my grandparent's anniversary party two years earlier. That solo wasn't the best song, I don't think. But I sang from the heart. And I loved every second of it.

Summerstock impacted me in a way that no other has before. I have never met a more wonderful group of people. I'm really shy until I'm completely comfortable with people. This definitely wasn't the best plan, because I really shut myself off from everyone the first half of the program. However, as soon as I opened up, they were there with welcoming arms. I made some of the greatest friends, and cannot imagine not being a part of Stock. We all turned into one huge family, who loved eachother. Sure, we all didn't talk. But we knew we were there. Rent was such an amazing show to put on, too. The way it gripped the cast was unbelievable and only made us bond more as a cast family. I will never forget any of them, and the show. I cannot believe I don't get the chance to do it again this year. Stupid school schedule...

Now, guys. Haha, that's a gooder. My experience with guys in my 18 years has been pretty much nothing. I have liked (really liked, not a crush) a total of... 4 guys. The one guy I liked for three years in a row, was absolutely... fantastic. I've learned that I can wait forever for the right guy... but it comes to a point that I have to realize that it's never going to happen and just move on. Everytime I tried to move on, however, they were only stupid rebound crushes. The one time that I thought I had found someone else... he goes and rips my heart out after the cruise. Cue four-month-long depression. I've learned what not to do with guys. However, I didn't follow my own advice now. And I may have screwed it up royally. From going from happiness to utter bewilderment, is such a great feeling. I understand his reasoning for this, I do. It's just hard for me to trust. I've had all my friends be burned again and again from guys, and I got burned once. I promised myself that I'd be careful this time. But I wasn't, and now I'm in limbo. Waiting. Again. I will not wait my three years, however. I'm putting an end to that. I have learned that much.

After 18 years, life has had its ups (although seldom), and its downs. I realize that I've learned from my mistakes (ha, usually). And that "everything happens for a reason". Cliche, I know. But I truly do believe that. I went through what I did with Cody only to become stronger, and know my limits. I was accepted in Summerstock so I could meet fantastic people, and build my self-esteem on and off-stage. I met the friends I have to feel wanted, loved and receive the friendship I so desperately needed - My friends are everything. They are there for me through it all. As I am for them. I wasn't accepted in Victoria, so I could meet the amazing people that I have in Mount Royal. Thanks to this misfortune, I have made more wonderful friends, and have possibly made more mistakes along the way, but will always treasure it.

As for now, all I can do is look forward to the future - and whatever it brings. What do I want the most? Well, number one (as always) is to find love, or have it find me. Honestly, love is all you need. I want my friends and family to be happy, and not to be hurt as much as they have recently. I want my grandparents to live a longer, healthier life - And for my grandma to visit India once more. I want to be happy. And I know that sounds selfish, but I think it's high time happiness lasted longer than a few weeks for me. Last I checked, happiness didn't come with expiration dates.

I can't wait.